New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
