My brain says no but my pants say off.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
