So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
