the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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