I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
why do cheetos always look like penises
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
