You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
