Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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