I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
this just has baby written all over it
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Boobs are out for the taking
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
