Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
