Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
