and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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