I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
She has the best kind of daddy issues
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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