There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
