Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
