I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
