Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
