Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

wanna hang out tonight and remember it?

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(480): View more from Arizona

he seriously made his penis a facebook.

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(914): View more from New York

I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"

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(561): View more from Florida

I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.

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(585): View more from New York

A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment

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(207): View more from Maine

You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume

(1-207): View more from Maine

what? where are you?

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(816): View more from Missouri

I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav

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