Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
There r osticjed everywhere
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize
