Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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