No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
