On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
