ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
