Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
