i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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