i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
