Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
