seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
He? As in you personified your dick?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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