I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
