6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
These tits shall not be calmed
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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