If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
