marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
