I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
And then my night got REAL pukey
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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