mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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