your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
