i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
