Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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