You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
