you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize