Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
