I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
