doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
