She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
