is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
