Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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