i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
