yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize