all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
