i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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