That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
