so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
