hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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