either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize