the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
