You made me cry and you don't even care
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
