if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I need moral support for this bender
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
