We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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