ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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