Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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