Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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