i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
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