I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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