im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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