Dual....:-)
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize