i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
