i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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