drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
