do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize