i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
