i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
