I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
