she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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