If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
