its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
No I am not eating basil off your cock
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
