and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Randomize