their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
