arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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