Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
