Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
