I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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