guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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