We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
