The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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