Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
